booze & blow jobs.

15 09 2009

So about a month ago, I went on vacation with my boss, and a few of their friends and families. Picture this: a few nice cabins on the lake, lots of people, lots of food, lots of alcohol, and a little puff-puff pass.

The first night was kind of boring, I hadn’t really met anyone yet, except for the friends I already knew, so I just hung out with them and didn’t really pay attention to anyone else (even the cute boys, because I’m loyal– uh, well… mostly– and remember, I was still with STS at the time).

The 2nd night, I was a little bitter with STS. I was pissed that he hadn’t come to see me yet, even though he was off work, so I drank a little, got to know a few more of the people I was hanging out with, danced on the boat with the girls a little, skinny-dipped a little, and drank a little more. Throughout the night, a guy about my age– we’ll call him Lake Hunk– and I had been eye-fucking. All the 20-somethings were in one of the cabins while all the parental units were sound asleep. We decided it was definitely time to take straight vodka shots. I know what you’re thinking: awesome idea. So, we take some shots, then take a few more, then take a couple tequila shots, and by this time, I was chasing my shots with Dr. Pepper & Jack not realizing there was Jack in there until someone pointed out that they had handed me their mixer instead of plain soda because they were looking forward to seeing the drunk side of Court, since they hadn’t seen too much of it so far that week. 

After the shots, we started on margaritas and all decided to change cabins and go to a bigger one to play some Mexican Train (dominos). I plopped down on the couch, and who else but Lake Hunk sits next to me. Then someone on the other side of him, and someone on the other side of me, leaving not too much room in the middle of us. We played a little footsie, flirted a bit, and then agreed to meet each other outside casually in 5 minutes. While he grabbed us some margaritas to-go, I headed over to my cabin to get a sweatshirt. When I walked out, I saw Lake Hunk walking out of the door of the Mexi-Train cabin. He saw me, smiled, and headed my way. We met and decided it would be a good idea to sit in the patio boat with our drinks. As soon as we got there, I also had the idea that skinny-dipping would be the best idea (this is where I get a little sketchy on the whole “loyal” thing…). So, I shed my clothes and dove in. Lake Hunk was in there right after me! We decided it was freezing, so he wrapped his naked body around me for a bit, then we climbed back into the patio boat and sat down for another drink (sans clothes). Sitting down lead to lying down, still naked, groping each other all over the place, and seeing more shooting stars than I’d seen in my life in one night! It was pretty awesome, to be honest. Lake Hunk tried kissing me, but I realized what a horrible person I was being to STS, and told him I was in a relationship and didn’t think it was the best idea, (even though I’d already shown this guy my naked body, and now his hands were wrapped around me, laying down in the boat, watching the stars) and he tried a couple more times, but I wouldn’t let him (and honestly, if I could do it again, I think I would have let him).

We ended up going in for another swim for a few minutes, then got out and went back to the cabins to get dressed and get warmer clothes on. We decided that we’d meet at the chair swing in a few minutes. After changing, I walked out of my cabin, I stumbled down the first stair. Forgetting there was another one, and the ankle that had missed the first step met the second step, and the next thing I knew, I had a sprained ankle. Fuck. But, I was so drunk, I didn’t even care. I stumbled (which was fine, since I was drunk, he didn’t even notice) down to the chair swing and had a seat. Lake Hunk joined me moments later with a little mary jane. We sat on the swing for a while, talked (don’t ask me what about, because I have no clue), groped each other… and then all toxins kicked in and we were ready to pass out. The one thing I do remember him asking was, “am i bigger than your boyfriend?” Interesting…

The next morning, I was in pain. Luckily, a doctor was staying in one of the cabins and he checked my poor ankle. He diagnosed me with a sprained ankle and told me to stay off of it as much as possible. I pretty much hung out at the cabin for the rest of the day reading books and playing Mexi Train with people who stayed in from jet-skiing and wakeboarding. STS stopped by for a few minutes, watched a game of dominos, didn’t ask how my ankle was, even though it was up on a chair, and I was pretty livid that I hadn’t seen him for a while. We didn’t talk a whole lot, and then he left so that he could go to work. I called him a little later and told him I didn’t feel like things were going very well with our relationship, and he agreed, and we ended it (I know, I know, over the phone– tacky) mutually.

Lake Hunk and I eye-fucked lots more that week, but didn’t end up doing anything until I had an empty cabin and he came to hang out and watch TV for a bit. Watching TV turned into him asking me “you want to know how big it is, don’t you?” And of course, I agreed. I had been thinking about it ever since we had skinny-dipped, and I was pissed off that I couldn’t remember anything about it since I was so drunk, and he knew it. I unzipped his pants, and gave him a blow job that lasted approximately 2 minutes. If that. What a disappointment. And I know what you’re wondering, “Well? How big was he, Court?” He was a little smaller than MBD. Even bigger disappointment that it didn’t go further! We had to head back to the other cabin so no one started to wonder where we went!

Should I feel bad about “cheating” on STS if I felt like things were going to end anyway?

tfln of the day: (706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

exes and oh!s,


no sex for… me, apparently.

8 09 2009

I was tickled pink to see that I got a response from people on my last post! So glad people are helping me think of things to write about! Keep it going!

The question was by Miss Rambles: What is the longest either have you have gone with NO sex?

I mean, who really likes to talk about the lack of sex in their life? It’s just not fun. So when I saw the question, I had to definitely pick at my brain to think of the last time I was in a serious sex rut. I’ve always been pretty good at gettin’ some.

Let me break this down for you: When things went to shit with Asshole Ex before I broke up with him, I went on a “no-sex” strike– not really sure who I was punishing more, really–which was probably for a month, maybe more. But as soon as I moved back home, Christina invited me to College Town, like the good friend she is, and I’m almost positive I broke the streak the second visit. After that it was really twice a month, I’m guessing, that I was in College Town visiting Christina and fucking on her living room floor (well, maybe it wasn’t the floor everytime…). After that I found a boyfriend in Big Town it was a pretty regular thing– but that was The Facemaker, so I had to put an end to that one. Also dated Christina’s boyfriend’s brother, who lived a couple hours away, so I’d get some about every other weekend. After many failed relationships, I decided that since I had built relationships with guys in Big Town, I might as well use that to my advantage… so I had my share of fuck-buddies there for a while, and was for sure getting action at least once a month until I moved. Ugh. I was in a pretty huge sex drought, I moved in November, Mr. Cling helped a little once or twice in November/December, and after that I stopped seeing him for obvious reasons and was without sex until I met STS, which was probably about 2 months. So… to answer your question: 2 months. Does that make me a whore? And what’s the longest you have all gone without hiding the sausage (or in some cases, little smokies)?

Let’s not even get started on my current situation, though. I’m starting on a long streakas we speak. STS and I broke up in early August, and I’m pretty sure the last time we got down and dirty was a day or so before, so I’m working on a good month right now. And I actually think I’m becoming a bit depressed even thinking about it. Fuck me.

tfln of the day: (619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

Teaser: My next post I’ll be answering Christina’s question, “have you ever, I dunno, gotten drunk on a boat with a boy you only recently met and gone skinnydipping with some illegal substances maybe (or maybe not) involved?” She obviously knows more than you. And you aren’t gonna wanna miss this.


yes, there will be a pop-quiz to follow.

18 08 2009

I’m glad there are still some people following the blog! I thought for sure when we got back on here everyone would have completely forgotten about us.

Good to know I was wrong! Thank you for the warm welcome back! I’m going to try to get Christina back on here as well. I know we’ve both been busy.  She’s got The Purse currently, don’t worry, we’ve still been sending it back and forth and writing in our journal, but haven’t had enough time to actually log onto wordpress and catch you all up on our lives.

Oh, I got a new desk! Which is what I’ve needed all along… somewhere for my laptop to sit so that I don’t keep going in and out of a wireless connection. So now I have no excuses.

Anyway, to fill you all in (on what you really haven’t missed out on):
*Mid-May: I moved (5 hours away from STS).
*Late-May: I left to be in my sister’s wedding the day after moving day, therefore leaving the new house with unopened boxes for a week to have some much-needed family time (which included getting to see Christina!!!!!!!), and I also saw The Facemaker at the wedding, ugh.
*End of May: I got back, was able to unpack and situate myself and work for a couple of months. Decided to start Weight Watchers to lose a few pounds.
*Late July: Went on a 2-week vacation to the mountains. Beautiful. STS and I decided to “take a break” because of the long-distance situation we had going on. Sprained my ankle while stumbling down the stairs drunk, while on vacation (and hanging out with a very cute guy, also drunk). Gave the cute guy head (don’t judge.) Played beer pong. Skinny-dipped.
*Mid-August: Got a visit from the other sister, spent most of our time as tourists in Big City (close to where I live now).
*Early this week: Got another visit, but from an old High School friend who was in the area, a very nice surprise! Watched all 6 seasons of Sex and The City, and also the movie.

So there you have it. Nothing too exciting. Alright, so since I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sure I have well over 2,000 unread GoogleReader messages that I’m probably not going to be able to get to… Anyone willing on catching me up on their life since we’ve been gone in a paragraph?

exes and oh!s,

P.S. How does Tease Me Tuesday sound to you?


24 04 2009

Soooooo, I get to see the family in about a week. And my bff if she’s got time for me… so that’s pretty exciting!

Ugh, Its always something I dread doing, but when I have to (since I’m moving), its another story. So, after my 2nd romp session with STS today, I headed into my room to do the deed: clean out the closet. But then I saw my laptop and thought of all of you wonderful people, and here I am!

So would you fuck me already? Its Thursday (I love that I can make any day I want to into a theme day, btw)!

Arm Chair, anyone? Has anyone ever done this? What do you think of it?

exes and oh!s,

sex toys? i think so!

27 03 2009

Alright– so, to spice things up a bit, I’ve decided that I’m going to do *surprise* theme days. That way you won’t know what’s coming. You may call it teasing– but what can I say? I’ve gotta keep you guys around somehow.

So, today? I’m thinking we’re going to go with sex toys. STS & I have been having quite more sex than usual lately (every day…), so if any of you have suggestions for toys that would be fun, I think we should do a “rating” on these– that way if you guys want to try something, but you haven’t been sure if it’d be worth it, I’ll try it out and do a post of what (STS &) I think about it.

Alright– onto the first review:  The Progressor  (second one down). STS and I actually got one of these a couple months ago, but we’ve only used it once. Have any of you heard of it? Do you like it? STS didn’t think it did a whole lot for him, I didn’t mind it, but it was probably not something I’d use again. Sort of a waste of $50. I’m going to give it 2/5 stars. Wasn’t too impressed.

Oh well. I’ve heard cock rings are pretty pleasing for both parties, so maybe we’ll try that out. It’s always fun to try new things.

Any suggestions for new toys?

exes and oh!s,

i’m baaaaaaaaack!

25 03 2009

Just a little update to let you all know how everything is goin’ in the life of Courtney.

First things first: FINALLY got to see the bff this weekend. It’d been way too long. She met STS, and I believe I’ve got his approval from everyone, which is good, because I believe the guy is a keeper.

Second: The Magnum XLs are working out muuuch better than the regular ol’ Magnums. And sex in the parental’s house was something I’ve never done before, believe it or not, but it is now…

Third: I’ve decided that I need to lose a few pounds before I’m in my sister’s wedding in a couple months. Any tips? And by a few pounds, I mean 10 – 20. Ha. Like that’s going to happen. I’ve already cut back my intake of Diet Coke, and have replaced it with water, which I’m not sure is helping, but it obviously won’t make things any worse. And ordered the Bender Ball. We’ll see how that works. As far as other excersise? Well, I live on a fairly decent strip of land, and I’m considering jogging in circles around my driveway before my afternoon morning shower.

And fourth?: I miss you guys. Really. And I’m going to try to keep things on here up to date. And I realize I said it the last time, but really, this time I mean it.

Oh, and can’t forget– Sex Position… Tuesday. Anyone ever try this? Mirror of Sex. Resting both legs on one shoulder, similar to the Deep Stick, but definitely looks like it’s a little tighter for both parties.

That’s all for now, folks.

exes and oh!s,

How could I fucking forget?

8 02 2009

Have you noticed that I love the word fuck?  Especially in my post titles? Well, if you hadn’t… I love it.

How could I have forgotten to post that I GOT THE PURSE YESTERDAY! Woohoo! I wrote in the journal right away to make sure I remembered to note the fact that Mr. Cling is so totally far out of my life that I’m considering deleting him as a friend on myspace/facebook–GASP– and that Smaller Town Stud is so far IN my life that I actually made a comment about the future  to Christina earlier. I know. Wow. Anyway, I’ve got it!  It’s all mine, Christina! I’ve missed it so. And I’m actually planning on sending it back to her sooner than we’ve been exchanging because of the fact that it felt like she had it for 3 months, when in reality it was a little less than a month. So I’m gonna say 2 weeks is a good time to have it for.

Anyway, I’m pretty excited that I’ll have it for Valentines Day. Even though I’m not sure exactly what my plans are going to be yet. I think Christina has been talking with STS to make sure he knows that I’m a not-s0-closet-hopeless-romantic.

Any ideas on what to get a guy for Valentines Day?

exes and oh!s,