It wasn’t me

17 09 2009

When I was a junior in college, I spent a lot of my time with Daddy’s Girl. My roommate and I at the time weren’t getting along very well, so if I wasn’t in class or at work, I was with DG.

DG and I – and Court, too, when she’d come to College Town to visit/party – got into our fair share of trouble together. Nothing serious (and by that I mean no police were ever involved… but damn now that I think about it, that could have been fun) but, well, you know how college girls can be.

DG and I may or may not have made out a time or two. I may or may not have cheered her on during a wet T-shirt contest at one of the bars in College Town.

Annnnd I may or may not have hooked up with, multiple times, one of her roommates.

I should clarify here that, at that point, she lived with three males. Three very, very, VERY good looking males. She claims it was never sexual between her and any of them but I still think her and J hooked up once or twice.


This roommate of hers, I’ll call him Older Buff Guy (GAWD I’M SO FUCKING ORIGINAL), was… well, older (nearing 30), but oh-so buff and OH-SO HOT. He’s one of those nearing 30 guys who sincerely doesn’t look it – he looked more like 24. Hell, he still does. (And by the way, yes he’s still buff and still hot. Maybe even more so since I can’t have him anymore, but that’s an entirely different story.)

Anyway. (I need to stop going off on tangents like that. It makes for a long post, no?)

One Thursday night, after DG and I had gone out on the town, dancing and letting boys buy us five too many drinks, we stumbled back to her place. I’d been texting OBG (that’s a pretty horrible abbreviation for the guy, hmm) for the past few hours, and he was sexily inviting me into his room.

His room, which was right next to DG’s room.

Fuck it.

We got to the house and, luckily, DG decided she was just going to pass the eff out almost immediately. Perfect.

So, I waltzed right into OBG’s room… but I forgot the rule he’d made: No entering the bedroom unless you’re topless. I happily obliged him, seeing as he was already topless (drool) and all.

And what a night we had. That’s the night I learned that lying, face up, on top of a guy who is also lying face up, is actually a plausible (and very pleasing) sex position.

That’s also the night I learned that giving head isn’t always a horrible thing.

That’s ALSO the night I was apparently really fucking loud in bed because the next morning when I walked out of OBG’s room and ran smack dab into DG, she asked what the hell movie or TV show we watched the night before (she knew we “hung out” from time to time but to this day doesn’t know the extent of my relationship with OBG) because she heard some VERY loud sexual noises.

I just told her I had no idea because I fell asleep. … It wasn’t me.


Subscribers, a bad memory and anal sex

6 05 2009

So I just decided to check out the details of SATTS on Google Reader.

Holy testicles! There are 61 subscribers?!

That means there have been at least, oh, sayyy…. two of you out there wondering why the hell we suck so much at this blogging thing!

So sorry.

No really, I feel bad.

And I’m trying, really!

I just got NOTHIN’ in the way of sexy blog material for y’all. I keep racking my brain for some distant memories of crazy sex while I was in College Town but… damn. BF and I have been together about two years now and I’m sorry but the pot my sophomore year has wreaked havoc on my memory.

So I’m trying.

In the meantime, here’s something I’ve been wondering about (but gawd I don’t know why, because – and I’m being honest here and if I can’t be honest here where can I be? – I realllllllllllly don’t think I’d ever try it): What in the hell is so damn appealing about anal sex? I’m counting on SOMEBODY out there to help me out on this because I just. don’t get it.


They-don’t-call-it-“exit-only”-for-nothing-slash-in-my-vag-only-please girl


No socks for you!

24 04 2009

BF and I spent last weekend out of town at a friends’ house of his. The two are married and have a little girl, but that’s another story for another day (read: NO I’m not pregnant, no we’re not trying but yes, we’ve been practicing).

The girl, who I’ll call Northern Girl (because they live north of us and, well, she’s a girl), and I have gotten to be pretty good friends and we found ourselves having an interesting discussion…

You know what drives me crazy?

Tryin’ to get freaky when ya got nothin’ but socks on. C’mon. Seriously? You’re buck ass naked with tube socks up to your shins and you’re tryin’ to get some of this? I do not think so.

Because when I get laid, whether we’re making love (not that I’d ever write about that because YAWN boring, right? right) or if I’m getting pounded (because hey, sometimes a girl likes it rough), I like to feel sexy. And a man wearing only socks? Is not sexy.

Unless you’re Gerard Butler. I might let him slide in the tube socks.

But seriously? What are you guys thinking, leaving your socks on?

What’s your nookie no-no?



24 04 2009

Soooooo, I get to see the family in about a week. And my bff if she’s got time for me… so that’s pretty exciting!

Ugh, Its always something I dread doing, but when I have to (since I’m moving), its another story. So, after my 2nd romp session with STS today, I headed into my room to do the deed: clean out the closet. But then I saw my laptop and thought of all of you wonderful people, and here I am!

So would you fuck me already? Its Thursday (I love that I can make any day I want to into a theme day, btw)!

Arm Chair, anyone? Has anyone ever done this? What do you think of it?

exes and oh!s,

Shut up and fuck me

22 04 2009

The QUICKEST way to get a girl so completely out of the mood to get her freak on is to do the following:

  • Ask, “You wanna do it, babe?”
  • Grab her tits
  • Grab her ass
  • Threaten to stick your pinky in her ass
  • Threaten to stick ANYTHING in her ass

There once was a time when I wasn’t feelin’ the love-makin’. Not so much the case anymore.

I want it. Like, often. I even consider squeezin’ in a quickie on my lunch break… and then I come home and BF says, “You wanna quickie, babe?”

I don’t know. It just completely fucking kills it for me.

Sometimes I just want the guy to shut up and fuck me.


This one’s juuuust right

3 04 2009

Well, it’s been awhile.

I feel completely justified, though, because my computer went all to shit and it took some time for BF and I to get the money together for a new one.

But, here I am, typing to you on a fabulous 20-incher. It might be the best 20 inches I’ve ever had.

Which leads me to a topic that’s been on my mind lately…

We all know that, yes, size matters. I mean, most girls I know don’t have any specific requirements (“must be THIS long to ride this, baby”) but there comes a time when it’s just too, well, small.

But how often do you hear a girl say a dick’s too big? Not often. But I bet it crosses our minds more often than we admit.

Think Sex and the City here, people. Samantha, the lover of sex she is, had to call it quits with a guy because he was too big.

So what do you guys think, how big is too big? And on that note, how little is too little? Are you willing to forgive a little if he’s willing to put in the extra tongue work?

I don’t have the answers and I really don’t know where I stand on this so… I want to hear it!


sex toys? i think so!

27 03 2009

Alright– so, to spice things up a bit, I’ve decided that I’m going to do *surprise* theme days. That way you won’t know what’s coming. You may call it teasing– but what can I say? I’ve gotta keep you guys around somehow.

So, today? I’m thinking we’re going to go with sex toys. STS & I have been having quite more sex than usual lately (every day…), so if any of you have suggestions for toys that would be fun, I think we should do a “rating” on these– that way if you guys want to try something, but you haven’t been sure if it’d be worth it, I’ll try it out and do a post of what (STS &) I think about it.

Alright– onto the first review:  The Progressor  (second one down). STS and I actually got one of these a couple months ago, but we’ve only used it once. Have any of you heard of it? Do you like it? STS didn’t think it did a whole lot for him, I didn’t mind it, but it was probably not something I’d use again. Sort of a waste of $50. I’m going to give it 2/5 stars. Wasn’t too impressed.

Oh well. I’ve heard cock rings are pretty pleasing for both parties, so maybe we’ll try that out. It’s always fun to try new things.

Any suggestions for new toys?

exes and oh!s,