give it to me.

5 09 2009

Questions, that is. I’ve asked for this before, but I never got a huge turnout of questions. So this time I’m going to ask for at least one question from each of you that you want to ask me (us), about anything. It can be about me (us) personally, or it can be something you need advice about, or you can simply suggest a topic for me (again, us) to talk about. I’m just having a problem coming up with post topics, and my life has been pretty dull lately, even after the breakup. So help us get this show back on the road.

For now, I’m going to go ahead and do our usual Fuck Me Friday.

This guy reminds me of MBD. Gotta love it.  Gerard Butler. Mmmm.

gerard-butler

I’m also going to start closing– or even writing posts that can relate to– tfln.com (textsfromlastnight.com) because the website pretty much rocks my world… here it is:

(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

exes and oh!s,
Court





thnks fr th mmrs.

9 01 2009

Alright, so it’s been a while since I’ve filled you all in on the situation with Mr. Cling and myself, and a little history:

We’ve known eachother since high school, but didn’t talk much those days, so basically when we found eachother again, we were pretty much starting fresh. This was the middle of September. I moved to Smaller Town in October, and we were, what I call “seeing” each other for, maybe the last couple of weeks or so (and by my definition of seeing… that means we aren’t dating, and we can see other people).

Now, let me just start off by saying, Mr. Cling is a nice guy. Just a little too nice. After checking my mail on Tuesday, I found a card* from Mr. Cling. Interesting. My thoughts: Did I forget my own birthday? Thank you card for the Christmas present? New Years card maybe?  No. It was none of these. It was an effing “I love you” card. Uh… Really? After 2 weeks, huh? 

**** CARD DETAILS REMOVED FOR ANONYMITY PURPOSES ****

This just really… creeped me out. I liked the guy, and then he went and had to send me this card telling me he loves me and I’m the only one for him after “seeing” each other for 2 weeks?

Am I over-reacting? I feel like I sort of am, but given that I’m not really interested in commitment right now, this was just the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was trying too hard to like the guy. 

So long, Mr. Cling.

*Which had the wrong use of ‘your’ in it… Mr. Cling, “your” is possessive, meaning “your card was un-necessary”. The correct grammar for this would be “you’re” which is a contraction, a combination of “you” and “are” as in “you’re kind of moving too fast for me seeing as how I thought we were just ‘seeing’ each other.”

Oh, also, MBD texted me the other day for some dirty talk, and ended up sending me a picture of his over-sized pecker. Can’t complain much about that.

exes and oh!s,
Court





I don’t give a tapdancing fuck what you think about me.

5 01 2009

Here is a little something I put together for all of you avid readers!

101 Things you didn’t know and probably don’t care to know about Courtney:

  1. My favorite color is red.
  2. I love Diet Coke. Even better if it’s Diet Coke with Splenda.
  3. I’ve never cheated on a significant other.
  4. I looooooove pizza.
  5. (Significantly) older men turn me on. An obscene amount.
  6. I’d love to marry a musician. C’mon, free serenades? Bring it on.
  7. Accents are a plus, too.
  8. I’m a sucker for sarcastic/witty men.
  9. I’m obsessed with scents. I’m a perfume whore. I don’t smother myself in it, but I have a lot of it. I like to have options.
  10. Consequently… I can’t refuse to give in to a man who smells yummy.
  11. Postsecret.com is one of my favorite websites. I have yet to send one of my own in, though…
  12.  I haven’t ever actually been in love before. I thought, at the time, that I was in love a time or two—turns out, when I think about it now, I wouldn’t say I was at all. It was more that I liked the idea of love.
  13.  I, of course, love chick flicks.
  14.  I was what you would call a “tomboy” when I was younger. I’ve since then changed. A lot.
  15.  It annoys me when people spell it “yea” or “ya” instead of “yeah”.
  16.  It also annoys me when people use the word “ain’t” (Ain’t ain’t a word and you ain’t gonna use it! – Thanks to my 2nd grade teacher, that’s what I think of every time I hear the fucking word. Thanks Mrs. P.).
  17.  I’m a big supporter Vikki’s Secret’s V-string thongs.
  18.  I’ve given a former co-worker head in the supply closet (a few times).
  19.  Also given a former co-worker head in the produce freezer (different job than #15).
  20.  …and in the parking lot (same job as #17, different co-worker).
  21. …and had sex in a guy’s parent’s house while his parents were both home and his grandmother was in the next room (during the holidays). I snuck in, and snuck back out like we were in high school. He was 30, I was 21.
  22.  I’m a huge believer in karma. What goes around comes around.
  23.  I’ve never had a threesome (except for the three-way make-out session Christina and I had with some guy at a party once—at least I think that’s all that happened that night).
  24.  I lost my first best friend when I was about 8. She was 7. A toy fell on her at her brother’s baseball game and she died from internal bleeding.
  25.  I trust people way too easily.
  26.  I’ve actually uttered from my mouth the words: “Do you have Facebook? I’ll add you” in order to tag a drunk stranger in College Town. Many a time. Don’t judge. 😉
  27.  I love my pink Blackberry.
  28.  Sometimes, even if it’s an extremely sad situation, it’s hard for me to cry. Almost like I have to take it all in for a while first. Other times, I cry like a baby.
  29.  I smile tons. On the last “good-bye” card I got from my last employer, I’d say 98% of the people who signed the card (about 30 people signed…), said they would miss my smile (and upbeat personality).
  30. Therefore, I have a hard time… not smiling. If there is something sad, I’m always afraid I’m going to smile and look like a total ass, when really, I just want to be happy instead of thinking of the unhappiness.
  31.  After reading/listening to The Secret, I agree with some of the things they say, like: the way you think creates reality for yourself.
  32.  I get déjà vu often. It’s creepy.
  33.  I have terrible vision. I have contacts that I sleep in so that I can see when I wake up every morning.
  34. Before Christina knew BF, I dated his brother. Turns out BF’s brother has a little bit of a drinking problem that probably won’t go away, and usually leads to flakiness. Hence him being an ex. And now Christina gets the joy of seeing him during family functions. Ha. 😉
  35.  I haven’t ever had makeup sex before, but if/when I do, I really hope it’s something like this.
  36.  I wear eyeliner so much that I feel like I look weird without it, like my eyes are too big. No… not that, I guess it makes me look too innocent. And having dark black eyeliner makes me feel sexy. That’s it.
  37.  Along those lines, I have extremely long eyelashes, without mascara. But I use a little black mascara to darken them.
  38.  I love big earrings. Huge hoops or gigantic diamond studs are my favorite.
  39.  I have a tattoo. But if I say what it is, it’ll give it away. I’ll just tell you it’s on the back side of my body.
  40.  As far as I’m concerned, until a guy and I have had “the (b/f, g/f) talk”, I’m available to fuck who I want. When I want.
  41.  If it wasn’t for Christina, I’m not sure I’d be where I am now. I might actually still be with Asshole Ex (I’ll fill you in later). But she stood up for me when she came to visit us once, and made me realize what a mistake I was making by dating him. Thanks, Christina. Love!
  42.  I have the same occupation as one of my followers on the blog.
  43.  I noticed one of our followers lives fairly close to Small-ish Town (where Christina lives).
  44.  I love flying, and every time I do, I always have a hard time deciding if I want to sit next to the cute guy, or the girl I assume is nice and will be good for conversation. I usually end up next to the cute guy. (My last flight, I sat next to the girl I assumed was nice and good for conversation and switched over to the cute guy during the layover.)
  45.  I’m allergic to nickel (no cheap jewelry for me!) and some laundry detergents.
  46.  I wouldn’t be very happy living without a mirror.
  47.  I brush my teeth every time I get out of the shower (regardless of if I brushed them 5 minutes before).
  48.  I always feel like I’m going to lose the right guy because I’m waiting for the wrong guy (or feel like I’m wasting my time on the wrong guy because I feel like there’s someone better for me out there—call it a soul mate, if you will).
  49.  I get scared looking out of the windows at night (especially after watching the movie “The Strangers”).
  50.  I’ve smoked pot once and didn’t care for it.
  51.  I get better at beer pong after losing the first couple games. J
  52.  I’m a little jealous of people that went to college right after high school, because I feel that if I go now, it won’t be the same (since I’ll be older than most people in my starter classes).
  53.  I have such a soft spot in my heart for old men, I hate to see them struggle, and it makes me want to cry.
  54.  My Mom has no idea how much I love her. I tell her all the time, but I don’t know if she realizes how much she means to me.
  55. Ditto for my Dad.
  56.  I like the idea of spontaneous [anywhere] sex. Now if I could just find someone to share that with me…
  57.  I LOVE my (given) name. I wouldn’t change it. It’s often a conversation starter.
  58.  Men seem to get attached to me easily. It’s not necessarily a good thing…
  59.  I’ve got blonde hair. It’s not natural.  I’m not ashamed.
  60.  I’ve got slate blue eyes.
  61. I’m a little on the short side (5’3”).
  62.  I prefer (and usually won’t settle for guys who aren’t) taller guys who are at least 6’0” or taller.
  63.  I broke up with a great guy because he was leaving for college (for only two months) and I didn’t want a long distance relationship. Oh, and he made weird faces during sex—otherwise, there might have been a chance of getting back together (The Facemaker).
  64.  My Asshole Ex married a girl who looks exactly like me, but is a bit on the chubby side, about a year and a half after we broke up. It kind of disturbs me.
  65.  I fucking hate spiders, or any creepy crawlers.
  66.  My Mom’s mother and father passed away before I was born, so I never got to meet them.
  67.  I wish I knew more about my ancestry/family tree.
  68.  It’s weird to me that people my age are already married with kids.
  69.  I love reruns of F-R-I-E-N-D-S, Law & Order: SVU and Sex & the City.
  70.  I’ve slept with over 10, but under 20 men.
  71.  I’ve had sex with a guy after having known him 20 minutes.
  72.  I have big hopes for my future. I just have no idea what they’re going to be yet. I just know I want to help people.
  73.  I want to travel a shit ton while I’m young, and maybe even live in a foreign country.
  74.  I’d also love to win the lottery and help people I know could use the help out.
  75.  Sometimes, I jump up onto my bed, because I’m scared something will grab me from underneath.
  76.  Pillows are one of my obsessions. I have about 6 full size and two smaller ones on my bed, all the time.
  77.  I’m obsessed with song lyrics. Even if I don’t necessarily like the tune/beat of the song, if the lyrics are good, I don’t pay attention to the rest.
  78.  I also love quotes from movies. I’ve got about 3 different word documents full of ‘em (which I should consider merging together, but am too lazy).
  79.  I’m a huge flirt. Big surprise there.
  80.  When scoping out a guy, I notice: height, body tone & teeth. I’m a huge teeth person—love great teeth. J
  81.  I can type about 90-95 wpm with 100% accuracy.
  82.  I’m a photo-whore. I’ve got photos all over my house of awesome memories.
  83.  I have a box full of crap that is supposedly meaningful, that I would like to put into scrapbooks, but when I think about it, if someone were to find it after I die, they’d probably think it was all junk and throw it away… so I’m not sure why I’m even saving it all.
  84. I like really any type of music, but could do without most classical/jazz (with the exception of Michael Bublẻ).
  85.  I get a kick out of reading the missed connections on craigslist [and secretly wish someone would write one about me].
  86.  I always ask for Ginger Ale if the flight attendant asks.
  87.  Favorite position? Reverse missionary. Or missionary. Or doggy-style. Or girl-on-the-counter-guy-standing-up. Or… well, you get the idea.
  88.  My favorite flowers are gerbera daisies and calla lilies.
  89.  Strangest place I’ve had sex is on the balcony of an apartment building overlooking one of the busiest intersections of Big Town.
  90.  …or perhaps it was Christina’s living room floor in College town while she and her roommate were in their rooms. Oops. J
  91.  I absolutely love down comforters.
  92.  I swallow.
  93.  I love Dane Cook’s comedy.
  94.  I think that Talk Sex with Sue Johanson is an awesome television program.
  95.  I’ve kissed a few girls in my day, but never done more than that.
  96.  I don’t buy jeans unless I like the pattern on the back pockets. And if I like the pattern but I don’t like the color of the thread in the pattern on the pocket, I continue looking.
  97.  I’m a youngest child.
  98.  The first time I went to MBD’s house for a little fun, he called me beforehand and told me he wanted me naked when I walked in the front door. His wish was granted.
  99.  I hate seafood. Except for tuna fish.
  100.  I like cats for the most part (in the fact that they are snuggly and soft all the time and this is the only time I’ll ever say I like pussy better than something else!) over dogs.
  101. Even after being single for so long, I sometimes don’t want a relationship, because I like my freedom.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed that… even those of you who fell asleep half way through. 😉
exes and oh!‘s,
Court




Oh Big Town, I miss you[r sex].

12 12 2008

So… Since I’ve moved to Smaller Town, I’ve started to think about how different things are. When I lived in Big Town, I had a few choices… nice mall, Target, Wal*Mart… and Mr. Big Dick next door.

Errrrch! Back that ass up. A little history: I moved in with Older Sister when I was 19, and lived with her for about 2 years in Big Town. MBD lived in the same apartment complex and I ended up running into him, exchanging numbers, etc. He was, in a nutshell, mid-30’s*, 6’5″, fairly muscular, short brown hair, sometimes sported a sexy goatee, and of course, the ever-so-gigantic dick. Got the visual? Good.

Moving onto the whole reason for this post: A few times a month, my well-endowed neighbor and I would get together at his place for a midnight romp session**, occasionally shagging on the terrace that faced the busiest street in Big Town.

Smaller Town is new. And from what I can see, is lacking in the men department. I might pass a bloke in the store that looks semi-hot, and then he breaks out the nearly hillbilly smile I was trying to stay away from.

I did, however, pass a few hotties while I was strolling down the street from my house the other day– construction workers. Hmm… I have a good feeling about this…

*34 to be exact– did I mention I was just about 20?
**And how much of an age difference is it before it’s wrong anyway?

exes and oh!‘s,
Court