11 09 2009

Let’s say, theoretically, you and your boyfriend (guys, just go with it) have been together for 2+ years. And let’s say, theoretically, you’ve lived together for over a year.

You’ve talked about marriage, babies and growing old together. And he’s seen you naked more than any other living being. You know, theoretically.

Let’s say this boyfriend of yours get a text message one Friday night while you’re hanging out. The text is from an oooold friend of his. An old friend who happens to be female.

Let’s say you’re okay with this.

But this old friend? Also happens to be the sister of your boyfriend’s EX-FUCKING-GIRLFRIEND. Who he was with for a total of 4-something years.


And let’s say, when he responds to this text message (knowing his ex is with the sister, who text messaged him), he says something to the effect of, “Just hanging out.” No mention of you.

How would you, theoretically, feel?


yes, there will be a pop-quiz to follow.

18 08 2009

I’m glad there are still some people following the blog! I thought for sure when we got back on here everyone would have completely forgotten about us.

Good to know I was wrong! Thank you for the warm welcome back! I’m going to try to get Christina back on here as well. I know we’ve both been busy.  She’s got The Purse currently, don’t worry, we’ve still been sending it back and forth and writing in our journal, but haven’t had enough time to actually log onto wordpress and catch you all up on our lives.

Oh, I got a new desk! Which is what I’ve needed all along… somewhere for my laptop to sit so that I don’t keep going in and out of a wireless connection. So now I have no excuses.

Anyway, to fill you all in (on what you really haven’t missed out on):
*Mid-May: I moved (5 hours away from STS).
*Late-May: I left to be in my sister’s wedding the day after moving day, therefore leaving the new house with unopened boxes for a week to have some much-needed family time (which included getting to see Christina!!!!!!!), and I also saw The Facemaker at the wedding, ugh.
*End of May: I got back, was able to unpack and situate myself and work for a couple of months. Decided to start Weight Watchers to lose a few pounds.
*Late July: Went on a 2-week vacation to the mountains. Beautiful. STS and I decided to “take a break” because of the long-distance situation we had going on. Sprained my ankle while stumbling down the stairs drunk, while on vacation (and hanging out with a very cute guy, also drunk). Gave the cute guy head (don’t judge.) Played beer pong. Skinny-dipped.
*Mid-August: Got a visit from the other sister, spent most of our time as tourists in Big City (close to where I live now).
*Early this week: Got another visit, but from an old High School friend who was in the area, a very nice surprise! Watched all 6 seasons of Sex and The City, and also the movie.

So there you have it. Nothing too exciting. Alright, so since I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sure I have well over 2,000 unread GoogleReader messages that I’m probably not going to be able to get to… Anyone willing on catching me up on their life since we’ve been gone in a paragraph?

exes and oh!s,

P.S. How does Tease Me Tuesday sound to you?


24 04 2009

Soooooo, I get to see the family in about a week. And my bff if she’s got time for me… so that’s pretty exciting!

Ugh, Its always something I dread doing, but when I have to (since I’m moving), its another story. So, after my 2nd romp session with STS today, I headed into my room to do the deed: clean out the closet. But then I saw my laptop and thought of all of you wonderful people, and here I am!

So would you fuck me already? Its Thursday (I love that I can make any day I want to into a theme day, btw)!

Arm Chair, anyone? Has anyone ever done this? What do you think of it?

exes and oh!s,

Shut up and fuck me

22 04 2009

The QUICKEST way to get a girl so completely out of the mood to get her freak on is to do the following:

  • Ask, “You wanna do it, babe?”
  • Grab her tits
  • Grab her ass
  • Threaten to stick your pinky in her ass
  • Threaten to stick ANYTHING in her ass

There once was a time when I wasn’t feelin’ the love-makin’. Not so much the case anymore.

I want it. Like, often. I even consider squeezin’ in a quickie on my lunch break… and then I come home and BF says, “You wanna quickie, babe?”

I don’t know. It just completely fucking kills it for me.

Sometimes I just want the guy to shut up and fuck me.


This one’s juuuust right

3 04 2009

Well, it’s been awhile.

I feel completely justified, though, because my computer went all to shit and it took some time for BF and I to get the money together for a new one.

But, here I am, typing to you on a fabulous 20-incher. It might be the best 20 inches I’ve ever had.

Which leads me to a topic that’s been on my mind lately…

We all know that, yes, size matters. I mean, most girls I know don’t have any specific requirements (“must be THIS long to ride this, baby”) but there comes a time when it’s just too, well, small.

But how often do you hear a girl say a dick’s too big? Not often. But I bet it crosses our minds more often than we admit.

Think Sex and the City here, people. Samantha, the lover of sex she is, had to call it quits with a guy because he was too big.

So what do you guys think, how big is too big? And on that note, how little is too little? Are you willing to forgive a little if he’s willing to put in the extra tongue work?

I don’t have the answers and I really don’t know where I stand on this so… I want to hear it!


Ask and you shall receive

20 01 2009

So many (all two of you) asked to hear about my fling with Christian Gal’s ex that I decided it was finally time for me to share.

First, a little background: Christian Gal and I have been friends since before Court and I actually became close. We’re still pretty close and, despite our religious differences, I consider her one of my close girlfriends. Christian Gal was also my first roommate in college – we lived together in the dorms our first year there and we got our first apartment together (with two other girls, including Daddy’s Girl, formerly known as Short-haired Girl).

Christian Gal and I met a group of guys living on the floor above us (gotta love co-ed dorms) shortly after we started our first semester in College Town. To tell you the truth, quite a few of my tales will be based on this group of guys. Anyway, CG’s Ex was in that group. They dated for awhile after CG broke up with her high school boyfriend and it got somewhat serious (and I got locked out of our dorm room many times while they fucked) before she ended up leaving him to go back to her high school boyfriend.

Enter Christina. CG’s Ex and I had become pretty good friends while CG and him dated (and I was fucking a couple of his friends, but that’s a different story) and when they broke up I was totally irritated with CG and on CG’s Ex’s side. (I know, what a friend, right? But honestly it was bullshit.)

So I spent time with CG’s Ex to console him. We went to parties together and when I didn’t feel comfortable bumpin’ and grindin’ with anybody else and while he was still licking his wounds from CG, we’d dance at these parties. Remember the dancing Court talked about before? Yeah, that kind of dancing. It was hot. Did I mention CG’s Ex is totally cute? Tall, great smile, amazing sense of humor and a great body.

One night after one of these parties – and a fuckton of flirting, by the way… but that was a sort of ongoing thing at these parties we’d go to… two, sometimes three nights a week, every week… – all the parties were dying down at about 3 or 4 a.m. So we decided to head back to the dorm and hang out. Not in my room, obviously, so we went to his room. Talked and hung out for awhile and somehow ended up in bed together.

It was innocent but we were definitely in bed together. That’s where we finally kissed for the first time (tingles! There were definitely tingles in places I shouldn’t be tingling after kissing the ex of a friend I shouldn’t be kissing) and that’s where we almost fell asleep together.

The kiss was one of those kisses that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You know, the kind that instantly makes you want to rip your (and his/her) clothes off and just fuckin’ go for it.

I hate to ruin what could be a good story, but that’s all that happened, folks. But damn, what a kiss.

Yeah, I was about as disappointed as you. Actually no, WAY. MORE. disappointed. You know how your body starts to go through all those natural processes when it’s preparing for intercourse? Yeah mine was definitely there. Hell, it was there before I was in bed with him. This guy got me going.

Things slowed down after that with CG’s Ex and I. Partly because I felt guilty (but not guilty enough to stop) but mostly because I think he just felt too awkward about it.

To this day I wish more had happened and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t cross my mind every now and then when I see his status updates on Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, I just saw some new photos CG posted with a bunch of guys I don’t know… including a drool-worthy black man. Damn, she always meets the hotties…


Fuck me Friday

9 01 2009
UPDATE: I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with blogger and/or the template we use, but apparently it likes to make our posts run together when a number of photos are used. I’m working on it. Oh, fuck it. I took the photos down and just linked to them because this shit is pissing me off.
UPDATED UPDATE: WordPress > Blogger. Photos added.

Thank god for the ability to schedule posts to publish at a later date/time, or you probably wouldn’t be seeing this until who knows when.

Anyway, my first Fuck Me Friday.

Hello, eyes.

Look at that smirk!

Just take me.

Christ, I couldn’t just pick one picture. So you get a few. (EDIT: Sort of.)Seriously. So talented. So cute. Look at that smile! Those eyes! So nice. So fucking sexy!

And did you ever hear his accent?

Damn it. I’ll never get at him. Because I’m definitely not into necrophilia.

I miss him. Really, I do. Been a fan for years. I unfortunately stumbled upon this and this (obviously related) while searching for this post, and am pretty sad I found it. I refuse to post it here.

On a related note, I tried to find a sexy pic of Michelle Williams (you know, Heath’s baby’s mama) for our male readers but… damn. I had no luck. She just doesn’t do it for me. So you get Angelina instead.