give it to me.

5 09 2009

Questions, that is. I’ve asked for this before, but I never got a huge turnout of questions. So this time I’m going to ask for at least one question from each of you that you want to ask me (us), about anything. It can be about me (us) personally, or it can be something you need advice about, or you can simply suggest a topic for me (again, us) to talk about. I’m just having a problem coming up with post topics, and my life has been pretty dull lately, even after the breakup. So help us get this show back on the road.

For now, I’m going to go ahead and do our usual Fuck Me Friday.

This guy reminds me of MBD. Gotta love it.  Gerard Butler. Mmmm.


I’m also going to start closing– or even writing posts that can relate to– ( because the website pretty much rocks my world… here it is:

(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

exes and oh!s,


so… we fucked.

2 02 2009

119 unread Google Reader items. And that doesn’t count the ones that I skimmed through reading on Wednesday, and got marked as read.

I suck at this game. I was so busy with work last two weeks, that I forgot to do laundry, leaving me lacking in the thong department. Luckily I don’t have a problem with going commando. Did I mention that I’m also sick with an effing cold, and this morning when I woke up my right eye was closed shut, leaving me to have to wear my ridiculously geeky glasses today?

Let  me just catch you up with my life, as it is currently. Smaller Town Stud and I are officially boyfriend/girlfriend. Mr. Cling flipped out on me. I refrained from having sex with STS as long as I could, and I think it was actually the longest I’ve ever waited to have sex with someone (I never did tell you all about the guy who owned the New York Pizza shop that I gave my phone number to after seeing him one day, and the next day I was stark naked, having sex with him in his parent’s house in front of the huge window in the front of the house for all to see — but now you know). Anyway… so, 13 days into knowing STS, I decided to give-it-a-go. 

Now… from what STS had told me, he hadn’t had sex in 2 years. Not because he didn’t want to, but because there wasn’t anyone around this shitty-ass town that he would even have considered doing the deed with. So… when I brought up the subject, he said he wanted to wait until I was ready. Shit. I was born ready! But, I did wait for as long as I could (psh, 1 day short of 2 weeks. Is that sad that I couldn’t wait any longer than that??).

Well, we did it. We didn’t finish, but we did it. You see, I’m not sure exactly what the deal was. I know he was enjoying it. His face showed it, his “OH MY GOD”s showed it, his movement showed it, but… his dick… didn’t understand the whole concept that it needed to be firm for the whole act. I mean, it would go in and out of limp-ness. STS felt terrible. He re-assured me he was having an awesome time, but he couldn’t finish, and I sure as hell couldn’t finish with what I was working with. After 45 minutes, we both laid down and I told him I had a good time regardless, and he shouldn’t feel bad.

Christina assured me that he cares deeply about me and that it was probably nerves. Ladies, gentleman… comments? Suggestions?

Moving on… I missed out on Fuck Me Friday, and Sex Position Sunday. So… here you are:

Fuck Me Friday:

Colin Farrell. Yum. Accent = yuuuuuuuuuuuuum.


and Elisha Cuthbert for the men:


Oh, and Sex Position Sunday? 

Mastery. With great face-to-face contact, Mastery is a very intimate position that’s great for those that like to do a lot of kissing during intercourse. To get into the position the receiver simply sits on their sitting partner facing them. Unfortunately, when performed as illustrated, the position isn’t great for generating vertical movement, so if you want to experience the full effect (as shown in the ratings below), make sure to try it on a stool or chair that lets the receiver get a good footing.

exes and oh!s,

Fuck… Friday

24 01 2009

Excuse me while I take a break from the regularly scheduled Fuck me Friday. My mood today isn’t exactly fitting, so I’m doing something a little different.

How about a “Fuck YOU Friday” instead?

I’m pissed. At BF. I don’t even know where to start.

Whenever I make a purchase for more than, say, $50… I’m sure to talk to BF about it. No, we don’t have a shared bank account and our money is very much separate, but we have a lot of bills that are ours – our electricity bill, our internet bill, our satellite bill, our car loan payment… you get the idea. So, in my head (especially considering I got a paycut at work not too long ago and he hasn’t gotten the raise he’s been promised), spending money on things that aren’t essential is something we should talk about.

Which is why I got so insanely pissed today when I found out he’s planning on buying a car. A used car, only a couple hundred dollars, but a car. Hundreds of dollars.

And the only reason I found out was because he decided to drive his pickup to work (with a trailer to haul things like, you know, cars, attached to the back) instead of the car WE recently bought. He didn’t tell me. No, I had to question him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

Fuck that.

The truth finally came out after about five minutes of questioning and the anger becoming more and more apparent in my voice. When the fuck was he going to tell me, when I walked outside tomorrow to see the fucking car that wasn’t there earlier this week?

Fuck that.

Oh, did I mention he owes me at least a grand from when I put the trailer (you know, the one he’s using to haul that car home) on MY credit card?

Fuck you, BF.

I’m pissed.

But, OK. This is more of a rant than a “Fuck me Friday,” so not much fun for you. Lame, right?

Hope this makes it better… going back to the “2 Fast 2 Furious” days. He may be a horrible actor but, fuck me.

paulwalker paulwalker2

And for the males, of course…



Fuck me Friday!

16 01 2009

Well, I’d love to insert a photo of Smaller Town Stud here, because, well, it is Friday, and I want to get fu… I mean, put two and two together, people. C’mon…

Alright, so… drumroll, please…


Ladies, a little necessary eye candy:
Mr. (nanny-shagging) Jude Law


Men– someone anonymously suggested:
Foxy (like I could have come up with anything betterMegan Fox!

megan_fox_fhm_11  megan_fox_fhm_0307_021

exes and oh!s,

Fuck me Friday

9 01 2009
UPDATE: I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with blogger and/or the template we use, but apparently it likes to make our posts run together when a number of photos are used. I’m working on it. Oh, fuck it. I took the photos down and just linked to them because this shit is pissing me off.
UPDATED UPDATE: WordPress > Blogger. Photos added.

Thank god for the ability to schedule posts to publish at a later date/time, or you probably wouldn’t be seeing this until who knows when.

Anyway, my first Fuck Me Friday.

Hello, eyes.

Look at that smirk!

Just take me.

Christ, I couldn’t just pick one picture. So you get a few. (EDIT: Sort of.)Seriously. So talented. So cute. Look at that smile! Those eyes! So nice. So fucking sexy!

And did you ever hear his accent?

Damn it. I’ll never get at him. Because I’m definitely not into necrophilia.

I miss him. Really, I do. Been a fan for years. I unfortunately stumbled upon this and this (obviously related) while searching for this post, and am pretty sad I found it. I refuse to post it here.

On a related note, I tried to find a sexy pic of Michelle Williams (you know, Heath’s baby’s mama) for our male readers but… damn. I had no luck. She just doesn’t do it for me. So you get Angelina instead.


Drama, anyone? (& last week’s Fuck me Friday)

31 12 2008

Don’t you just love it when you start to like a guy, and some Jealous Bitch comes and ruins everything over an effing myspace message? And who the hell are you to believe– the guy who you just started to like, or the girl who you barely know that claims they aren’t just friends? I feel like I’m in the fourth grade and some girl just passed me a note saying “Billy told me he wanted to play on the jungle gym with me at recess instead of you” or something just as ridiculous. Seriously, I start to actually LIKE Mr. Cling, and along comes Jealous Bitch at full force. However, he did bring a good point on himself… I usually talk to him throughout the day pretty much until he goes to bed anyway, hence the Cling.

On to last week’s Fuck Me Friday, since Christina & I both forgot:

I’ll keep it short, simple & sexy:

David Beckham: ahhh.

Don’t worry, guys– I didn’t forget you!

Jennifer Aniston: damn, girl.

exes and oh!s,

Fuck me Friday! #1

20 12 2008
I know, I know. It’s past midnight, so it’s technically Saturday, but I couldn’t go to sleep without doing my first “Fuck Me Friday!”.

So… For tonight’s topic: Who do I want to fuck? Well, honestly… if I had it my way today, I would have taken my boss’ daughter’s friend for a welcome fuck after I picked him up from the airport. Unfortunately, all I got from him was a shit load of not-so-innocent flirting. Hey, he seemed into it– I just wasn’t about to do that. Not until I know they’re not dating, anyways. 🙂

‘Tis life. Luckily I get to go home next week and maybe I’ll get a little action there. I might have to call up Mr. Cling if I get desperate!

Alright, so onto who I’d like to fuck (other than of the hot ass Les Schwab guys that came running to me when I was getting my tires changed?) Dermot Mulroney. Ahhhh. You know what? Who the hell cares if he’s 45. I’d do him. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t. Who knew that the boat love scene in The Wedding Date could be so hot when you don’t see cock & boobs? I said it once and I’ll say it again: I’d fuck him in a heartbeat.

If you see Dermot, point him in my direction…
exes and oh!‘s,