booze & blow jobs.

15 09 2009

So about a month ago, I went on vacation with my boss, and a few of their friends and families. Picture this: a few nice cabins on the lake, lots of people, lots of food, lots of alcohol, and a little puff-puff pass.

The first night was kind of boring, I hadn’t really met anyone yet, except for the friends I already knew, so I just hung out with them and didn’t really pay attention to anyone else (even the cute boys, because I’m loyal– uh, well… mostly– and remember, I was still with STS at the time).

The 2nd night, I was a little bitter with STS. I was pissed that he hadn’t come to see me yet, even though he was off work, so I drank a little, got to know a few more of the people I was hanging out with, danced on the boat with the girls a little, skinny-dipped a little, and drank a little more. Throughout the night, a guy about my age– we’ll call him Lake Hunk– and I had been eye-fucking. All the 20-somethings were in one of the cabins while all the parental units were sound asleep. We decided it was definitely time to take straight vodka shots. I know what you’re thinking: awesome idea. So, we take some shots, then take a few more, then take a couple tequila shots, and by this time, I was chasing my shots with Dr. Pepper & Jack not realizing there was Jack in there until someone pointed out that they had handed me their mixer instead of plain soda because they were looking forward to seeing the drunk side of Court, since they hadn’t seen too much of it so far that week. 

After the shots, we started on margaritas and all decided to change cabins and go to a bigger one to play some Mexican Train (dominos). I plopped down on the couch, and who else but Lake Hunk sits next to me. Then someone on the other side of him, and someone on the other side of me, leaving not too much room in the middle of us. We played a little footsie, flirted a bit, and then agreed to meet each other outside casually in 5 minutes. While he grabbed us some margaritas to-go, I headed over to my cabin to get a sweatshirt. When I walked out, I saw Lake Hunk walking out of the door of the Mexi-Train cabin. He saw me, smiled, and headed my way. We met and decided it would be a good idea to sit in the patio boat with our drinks. As soon as we got there, I also had the idea that skinny-dipping would be the best idea (this is where I get a little sketchy on the whole “loyal” thing…). So, I shed my clothes and dove in. Lake Hunk was in there right after me! We decided it was freezing, so he wrapped his naked body around me for a bit, then we climbed back into the patio boat and sat down for another drink (sans clothes). Sitting down lead to lying down, still naked, groping each other all over the place, and seeing more shooting stars than I’d seen in my life in one night! It was pretty awesome, to be honest. Lake Hunk tried kissing me, but I realized what a horrible person I was being to STS, and told him I was in a relationship and didn’t think it was the best idea, (even though I’d already shown this guy my naked body, and now his hands were wrapped around me, laying down in the boat, watching the stars) and he tried a couple more times, but I wouldn’t let him (and honestly, if I could do it again, I think I would have let him).

We ended up going in for another swim for a few minutes, then got out and went back to the cabins to get dressed and get warmer clothes on. We decided that we’d meet at the chair swing in a few minutes. After changing, I walked out of my cabin, I stumbled down the first stair. Forgetting there was another one, and the ankle that had missed the first step met the second step, and the next thing I knew, I had a sprained ankle. Fuck. But, I was so drunk, I didn’t even care. I stumbled (which was fine, since I was drunk, he didn’t even notice) down to the chair swing and had a seat. Lake Hunk joined me moments later with a little mary jane. We sat on the swing for a while, talked (don’t ask me what about, because I have no clue), groped each other… and then all toxins kicked in and we were ready to pass out. The one thing I do remember him asking was, “am i bigger than your boyfriend?” Interesting…

The next morning, I was in pain. Luckily, a doctor was staying in one of the cabins and he checked my poor ankle. He diagnosed me with a sprained ankle and told me to stay off of it as much as possible. I pretty much hung out at the cabin for the rest of the day reading books and playing Mexi Train with people who stayed in from jet-skiing and wakeboarding. STS stopped by for a few minutes, watched a game of dominos, didn’t ask how my ankle was, even though it was up on a chair, and I was pretty livid that I hadn’t seen him for a while. We didn’t talk a whole lot, and then he left so that he could go to work. I called him a little later and told him I didn’t feel like things were going very well with our relationship, and he agreed, and we ended it (I know, I know, over the phone– tacky) mutually.

Lake Hunk and I eye-fucked lots more that week, but didn’t end up doing anything until I had an empty cabin and he came to hang out and watch TV for a bit. Watching TV turned into him asking me “you want to know how big it is, don’t you?” And of course, I agreed. I had been thinking about it ever since we had skinny-dipped, and I was pissed off that I couldn’t remember anything about it since I was so drunk, and he knew it. I unzipped his pants, and gave him a blow job that lasted approximately 2 minutes. If that. What a disappointment. And I know what you’re wondering, “Well? How big was he, Court?” He was a little smaller than MBD. Even bigger disappointment that it didn’t go further! We had to head back to the other cabin so no one started to wonder where we went!

Should I feel bad about “cheating” on STS if I felt like things were going to end anyway?

tfln of the day: (706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

exes and oh!s,


Ask and you shall receive

20 01 2009

So many (all two of you) asked to hear about my fling with Christian Gal’s ex that I decided it was finally time for me to share.

First, a little background: Christian Gal and I have been friends since before Court and I actually became close. We’re still pretty close and, despite our religious differences, I consider her one of my close girlfriends. Christian Gal was also my first roommate in college – we lived together in the dorms our first year there and we got our first apartment together (with two other girls, including Daddy’s Girl, formerly known as Short-haired Girl).

Christian Gal and I met a group of guys living on the floor above us (gotta love co-ed dorms) shortly after we started our first semester in College Town. To tell you the truth, quite a few of my tales will be based on this group of guys. Anyway, CG’s Ex was in that group. They dated for awhile after CG broke up with her high school boyfriend and it got somewhat serious (and I got locked out of our dorm room many times while they fucked) before she ended up leaving him to go back to her high school boyfriend.

Enter Christina. CG’s Ex and I had become pretty good friends while CG and him dated (and I was fucking a couple of his friends, but that’s a different story) and when they broke up I was totally irritated with CG and on CG’s Ex’s side. (I know, what a friend, right? But honestly it was bullshit.)

So I spent time with CG’s Ex to console him. We went to parties together and when I didn’t feel comfortable bumpin’ and grindin’ with anybody else and while he was still licking his wounds from CG, we’d dance at these parties. Remember the dancing Court talked about before? Yeah, that kind of dancing. It was hot. Did I mention CG’s Ex is totally cute? Tall, great smile, amazing sense of humor and a great body.

One night after one of these parties – and a fuckton of flirting, by the way… but that was a sort of ongoing thing at these parties we’d go to… two, sometimes three nights a week, every week… – all the parties were dying down at about 3 or 4 a.m. So we decided to head back to the dorm and hang out. Not in my room, obviously, so we went to his room. Talked and hung out for awhile and somehow ended up in bed together.

It was innocent but we were definitely in bed together. That’s where we finally kissed for the first time (tingles! There were definitely tingles in places I shouldn’t be tingling after kissing the ex of a friend I shouldn’t be kissing) and that’s where we almost fell asleep together.

The kiss was one of those kisses that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You know, the kind that instantly makes you want to rip your (and his/her) clothes off and just fuckin’ go for it.

I hate to ruin what could be a good story, but that’s all that happened, folks. But damn, what a kiss.

Yeah, I was about as disappointed as you. Actually no, WAY. MORE. disappointed. You know how your body starts to go through all those natural processes when it’s preparing for intercourse? Yeah mine was definitely there. Hell, it was there before I was in bed with him. This guy got me going.

Things slowed down after that with CG’s Ex and I. Partly because I felt guilty (but not guilty enough to stop) but mostly because I think he just felt too awkward about it.

To this day I wish more had happened and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t cross my mind every now and then when I see his status updates on Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, I just saw some new photos CG posted with a bunch of guys I don’t know… including a drool-worthy black man. Damn, she always meets the hotties…


Dance party, anybody?

11 01 2009

I’ve been going through pictures of College Town tonight. I didn’t even go to college there and I still miss… beer pong, dance parties, walking up the fucking hills late-night strolls with friends (and stopping half-way at completely random people’s houses to use their facilities on the way to our destination to either A) pee at some random person’s house from the obscene amounts of beer we consumed before we departed or B) sled with the random people who let us use their bathrooms… no, wait, we definitely did both), the bars, the shots, the beer, the picture-taking, d.a.n.c.e. p.a.r.t.i.e.s., meeting new people, meeting old people, making out with… well, anyone (apparently), dance parties, annoying Christina’s extremely sheltered (never left her room) roommate by being incredibly loud when we came home shiiiiitfaced, sex on Christina’s living room floor, sex on Christina’s living room couch, dance parties, Christina & Short-haired Girl* plotting (and succeeding) at taking photos of me making out with cute boys… ahhhh.

…alright, so I think you realize that I miss the College Town dance parties.

Who can resist?! I mean… practically fornicating on the dance floor? Picture yourself grindin’ away on some dude (or chick, for you male readers), it’s hot, the music is loud, the bass is pounding, you’re as close as it gets, and the girls (or guys) sitting at the tables watching you have their jaw dropped so wide it’s practically touching the ground and her (his) tongue is rolling out of it and being stepped on by fellow dancers? Oh yes. That kind of dancing. Dirty dancing, if you will.

It was Halloween. Started out at Christina’s house, about… 15(?) people all costumed-up. Christina, being the naughty cowgirl she is, and myself, being, well, we weren’t really sure what I was– I had on sweats, a jersey-shirt, a pair of Christina’s tennis-shoes and black lines under my eyes– I was considering myself a powder-puff girl (we had quickly put my costume together short hours before, seeing as how I decided on a whim that I was going to College Town that weekend). Let’s just say that we supplied alcohol. People brought alcohol. We shared atrocious amounts of alcohol. We all left her place h-a-m-m-e-r-e-d. I think we walked to ‘Baile’, the most amazing underground bar with a dance floor.

Shots were-a-flowin’ in our system and before you knew it, our entire group was out there starting the dance party out. I happened to be dancing with Muscle Man (I’m sure you’ll hear more about this charmer later), and, like usual, everyone was hot-n-heavy. Well, I’m not sure about everyone, but we certainly were. Hands were wondering, I’m sure some words were exchanged (“where are you staying tonight?” “your place?” “no doubt” was pretty usual with us)– I ended up at Muscle Man’s apartment that night, after what seemed like hours of foreplay on the dancefloor. Let your imagination run wild.

That being said, I miss College Town dance parties. That’s all.

*name is subject to change

exes and oh!s,