11 09 2009

Let’s say, theoretically, you and your boyfriend (guys, just go with it) have been together for 2+ years. And let’s say, theoretically, you’ve lived together for over a year.

You’ve talked about marriage, babies and growing old together. And he’s seen you naked more than any other living being. You know, theoretically.

Let’s say this boyfriend of yours get a text message one Friday night while you’re hanging out. The text is from an oooold friend of his. An old friend who happens to be female.

Let’s say you’re okay with this.

But this old friend? Also happens to be the sister of your boyfriend’s EX-FUCKING-GIRLFRIEND. Who he was with for a total of 4-something years.


And let’s say, when he responds to this text message (knowing his ex is with the sister, who text messaged him), he says something to the effect of, “Just hanging out.” No mention of you.

How would you, theoretically, feel?


hooooly shit she’s alive!

5 09 2009

I’m starting to get really fucking tired of this excuse BUT I (still, for the love of god) don’t have internet at home. So. Yeah.

But with Court’s recent posting I’ve realized how much I MISS THIS SHIT so I’m suffering through doing this from my blackberry. Just for you, sexypants. Yes, you.

Unfortunately, not a whole fuckofalot has happened for me since the last time I posted, wayyy back in the day.

Have I mentioned I’m sorry about our little unplanned hiatus? No? Well I am.

BF and I did move, however, into a much nicer rental house. I’m further from work now though, but that’s the only downside. Well, that and NOT HAVING INTERNET! Fuckme.

Let me tell ya, it’s pretty awesome living somewhere you can have sex with your bedroom door (which open to 3+ acres of lawn/pasture) open. Mmhmm.

Other than that… Nothin’ much. I plan on realllly making more of an effort here, but don’t plan on many of the regulars from me (sorry).
Until next time (which should be soon!)


Shut up and fuck me

22 04 2009

The QUICKEST way to get a girl so completely out of the mood to get her freak on is to do the following:

  • Ask, “You wanna do it, babe?”
  • Grab her tits
  • Grab her ass
  • Threaten to stick your pinky in her ass
  • Threaten to stick ANYTHING in her ass

There once was a time when I wasn’t feelin’ the love-makin’. Not so much the case anymore.

I want it. Like, often. I even consider squeezin’ in a quickie on my lunch break… and then I come home and BF says, “You wanna quickie, babe?”

I don’t know. It just completely fucking kills it for me.

Sometimes I just want the guy to shut up and fuck me.


Technology hates me

7 03 2009

… And to tell ya the truth, the feeling’s a little mutual.

Just a quick post to say I MISS YOU GUYS!!! And I’m sorry we’ve been more than MIA lately. I can’t speak for Court (word has it she’s just lazy) but my computer’s dead and I was just able, after many tries, to log into wp on my BlackBerry to write this.

But a quick update: BF and I have been having an unusual amount of sex lately. Lots of sex. Great sex. Switching from one position (missionary) to another (doggy style) to another (me on top) to make it last longer great sex. We’ve been fighting less (like, none) and holding hands and kissing in public. Life’s good.

I’ll try to update when I can, but typing on the bb isn’t the easiest thing in the world and you’re craaaaazy if you think I’ll blog from work. No no no.


The amazing, disappearing Christina!

21 02 2009

Holy. Shit.

Where the hell have I been? What the hell have I been doing?

And most importantly, why the fuck haven’t I been blogging or reading blogs or doing anything with you lovely people?

I’ll tell you. But relax, it’s nothing exciting.

Just, you know, breaking almost every single girl rule I ever had for myself.

I’m far from a single girl but there are certain things I told myself I’d never do. Completely lose myself in a relationship, for instance. Or telling BF not (yes, NOT) to buy me a diamond ring for Valentine’s Day unless it was an engagement ring (!). That’s a double whammy right there, holy shit.

Just so you know, I didn’t get a diamond ring for Valentine’s Day. And I’m still not sure if I’m happy about that or not. Go figure.

I did, however, get a dozen roses with a few lillies mixed in, as well as a card that made me absolutely cry:

(front, with a picture of a couple hugging, with the man’s back facing the front of the card, and you can’t see either’s face, but they’re both brunette, like the BF and I) “Your love makes my world a beautiful place to be.”

(inside, printed in the card) “With you by my side, I know that I have everything anyone could ever want – someone who’s understanding and supportive, who’s fun and interesting… someone I love who also happens to be my best friend. Happy Valentine’s Day”

(inside, hand-written) “Christina, I will love you forever and ever and then some. BF”

Sounds like your typical lovey-dovey Valentine’s Day card, eh? I think it was the “best friend” part that caused the eye leakage. Oh, and I got a stuffed animal (also typical lovey-dovey Valentine’s day), a dog with a little pink heart, and a digital camera!

Which leads me to… my half of y’all getting up in my personal biz-naz.

Here are the rules:

  1. Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you can’t go into your closet and pull out your favorite purse! We want to know what you carried today or the last time you left the house.
  2. List how much it cost. And this is not to judge. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, we’d love to hear it.
  3. Show us what’s in your purse. Spill it out! Take pictures! Tell us what it is!
  4. Tag some chicks.

First, here’s my purse. Lucky me, Courtney still has The Purse, so this really is the one I’m using right now


I honestly can’t remember how much I paid for it, but I got it at Vanity… I think. God, my memory is horrible. I’ve had it for a few years, and bought it back when I still lived in College Town.


Inside are: current proof of car insurance (that I keep forgetting to actually leave in my car), sent from my mom, complete with her hand-written note that it goes in the Jetta; my purple leather wallet, black daily planner, black Mary Kay bag that I keep pens and tampons in, striped makeup baggy with lipgloss and other miscellaneous girly items (I took a separate picture of that stuff, we’ll get to it in a minute), Vanilla Bean Noel lotion from Bath and Body Works, Equate extra strength headache relief (Excedrin knock-off) because I get migraines like you wouldn’t believe and no this shit doesn’t really work, some mint candies from our Secret Santa at work, a packet of business cards, powder compact and a Walmart receipt.


In my makeup bag of goodies: bobby pins, Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets, Bath and Body Works Raspberry Plum lip balm, Mary Kate and Ashley ultra wet lip gloss in some pinkish color, some cover up, Victoria’s Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss in watermelon? I think, Victoria’s Secret Beauty Rush lip gloss in Strawberry Fizz (that one still had the sticker on it), some other lip gloss (don’t ask who made it or what color it is other than “pink”), Sassy Sweet Cherry lip gloss from Maurices, Tutti Dolci Sugar Wafter lip gloss, a couple little tubs with the word “nibblers” in the name (I think? again, no stickers) from a Passions party, Bath and Body Works Sparkling Melon lip balm, cherry-flavored “Chap-Ice” (honestly, it’s Chapstick… or however you spell it… come on.), some Carmex, another thing of cover up and a hair tie.

Whew. After that, I need a drink. And I’m not taggin’ anyone.

Also, I promise it won’t be three fucking years until I post again… and the next post will include some fucking.


I can’t keep up (and BF’s a sweetheart)

1 02 2009

It’s come to my attention that Court and I have received awards and been tagged lately. Awesome!

Seriously, I say that without any sarcasm. I sincerely apologize we haven’t responded (or, if we have, good for us – that’s where my head’s been lately… I don’t even know if we’re thanking people or doing anything for these awards or not!) but I just wanted to say we 150% appreciate them!

Work’s been a shitstorm lately for me and I think Court could say the same. AND I know she’s been busy with STS ( I’ll let her tell you about that even though she’s shared some good stories with me).

Also, I thought I’d give a little update on how BF and I are doing.

We ended up talking it all out and he understands where I was coming from and why I was so upset. He apologized and promised to bring things up for us to talk about first, before deciding on something like that. Also, he ended up not buying the car I was initially pissed about.

He’s been working a lot lately. Have I ever mentioned he works the night shift? Yeah, so he’s always horny when he gets home, between 3 and 7:30 a.m. (it varies depending on how busy they are) and that is definitely sleepy time for this girl. And MY horny time is usually between 9 p.m. and midnight so we almost. never. get to have sex and it sucks! Even on the weekends because he’s been working weekends lately. UGH!

Anyway, he did something super sweet today. He was getting ready to leave for work this afternoon and I was having a serious soda and sunflower seed craving (NO, I’m not preggo). I was also, however, having a serious lazy day. I’m talking it was 2:30 in the afternoon and I hadn’t showered or anything, really. Baggy sweats, tank and no bra and yesterday’s makeup does not make for a going-to-the-store outfit.

BF left for work with a lot less fanfare than usual. Normally he at least kisses me a couple times before petting the dogs and walking out the door. This time? “Bye babe, love ya!” and he was gone. Asshole

NOT! Five minutes later he called me and told me to come outside (ummm, did he not remember what I was wearing when he left? At least we live in a neighborhood slightly outside of town…). So I did and… there he was, with a six-pack of my favorite soda and my favorite kind of sunflower seeds!

I think the guy’s a keeper. And I think I’ll shave my legs tonight so I’m good and ready for him when he gets home.


Fuck… Friday

24 01 2009

Excuse me while I take a break from the regularly scheduled Fuck me Friday. My mood today isn’t exactly fitting, so I’m doing something a little different.

How about a “Fuck YOU Friday” instead?

I’m pissed. At BF. I don’t even know where to start.

Whenever I make a purchase for more than, say, $50… I’m sure to talk to BF about it. No, we don’t have a shared bank account and our money is very much separate, but we have a lot of bills that are ours – our electricity bill, our internet bill, our satellite bill, our car loan payment… you get the idea. So, in my head (especially considering I got a paycut at work not too long ago and he hasn’t gotten the raise he’s been promised), spending money on things that aren’t essential is something we should talk about.

Which is why I got so insanely pissed today when I found out he’s planning on buying a car. A used car, only a couple hundred dollars, but a car. Hundreds of dollars.

And the only reason I found out was because he decided to drive his pickup to work (with a trailer to haul things like, you know, cars, attached to the back) instead of the car WE recently bought. He didn’t tell me. No, I had to question him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

Fuck that.

The truth finally came out after about five minutes of questioning and the anger becoming more and more apparent in my voice. When the fuck was he going to tell me, when I walked outside tomorrow to see the fucking car that wasn’t there earlier this week?

Fuck that.

Oh, did I mention he owes me at least a grand from when I put the trailer (you know, the one he’s using to haul that car home) on MY credit card?

Fuck you, BF.

I’m pissed.

But, OK. This is more of a rant than a “Fuck me Friday,” so not much fun for you. Lame, right?

Hope this makes it better… going back to the “2 Fast 2 Furious” days. He may be a horrible actor but, fuck me.

paulwalker paulwalker2

And for the males, of course…