booze & blow jobs.

15 09 2009

So about a month ago, I went on vacation with my boss, and a few of their friends and families. Picture this: a few nice cabins on the lake, lots of people, lots of food, lots of alcohol, and a little puff-puff pass.

The first night was kind of boring, I hadn’t really met anyone yet, except for the friends I already knew, so I just hung out with them and didn’t really pay attention to anyone else (even the cute boys, because I’m loyal– uh, well… mostly– and remember, I was still with STS at the time).

The 2nd night, I was a little bitter with STS. I was pissed that he hadn’t come to see me yet, even though he was off work, so I drank a little, got to know a few more of the people I was hanging out with, danced on the boat with the girls a little, skinny-dipped a little, and drank a little more. Throughout the night, a guy about my age– we’ll call him Lake Hunk– and I had been eye-fucking. All the 20-somethings were in one of the cabins while all the parental units were sound asleep. We decided it was definitely time to take straight vodka shots. I know what you’re thinking: awesome idea. So, we take some shots, then take a few more, then take a couple tequila shots, and by this time, I was chasing my shots with Dr. Pepper & Jack not realizing there was Jack in there until someone pointed out that they had handed me their mixer instead of plain soda because they were looking forward to seeing the drunk side of Court, since they hadn’t seen too much of it so far that week. 

After the shots, we started on margaritas and all decided to change cabins and go to a bigger one to play some Mexican Train (dominos). I plopped down on the couch, and who else but Lake Hunk sits next to me. Then someone on the other side of him, and someone on the other side of me, leaving not too much room in the middle of us. We played a little footsie, flirted a bit, and then agreed to meet each other outside casually in 5 minutes. While he grabbed us some margaritas to-go, I headed over to my cabin to get a sweatshirt. When I walked out, I saw Lake Hunk walking out of the door of the Mexi-Train cabin. He saw me, smiled, and headed my way. We met and decided it would be a good idea to sit in the patio boat with our drinks. As soon as we got there, I also had the idea that skinny-dipping would be the best idea (this is where I get a little sketchy on the whole “loyal” thing…). So, I shed my clothes and dove in. Lake Hunk was in there right after me! We decided it was freezing, so he wrapped his naked body around me for a bit, then we climbed back into the patio boat and sat down for another drink (sans clothes). Sitting down lead to lying down, still naked, groping each other all over the place, and seeing more shooting stars than I’d seen in my life in one night! It was pretty awesome, to be honest. Lake Hunk tried kissing me, but I realized what a horrible person I was being to STS, and told him I was in a relationship and didn’t think it was the best idea, (even though I’d already shown this guy my naked body, and now his hands were wrapped around me, laying down in the boat, watching the stars) and he tried a couple more times, but I wouldn’t let him (and honestly, if I could do it again, I think I would have let him).

We ended up going in for another swim for a few minutes, then got out and went back to the cabins to get dressed and get warmer clothes on. We decided that we’d meet at the chair swing in a few minutes. After changing, I walked out of my cabin, I stumbled down the first stair. Forgetting there was another one, and the ankle that had missed the first step met the second step, and the next thing I knew, I had a sprained ankle. Fuck. But, I was so drunk, I didn’t even care. I stumbled (which was fine, since I was drunk, he didn’t even notice) down to the chair swing and had a seat. Lake Hunk joined me moments later with a little mary jane. We sat on the swing for a while, talked (don’t ask me what about, because I have no clue), groped each other… and then all toxins kicked in and we were ready to pass out. The one thing I do remember him asking was, “am i bigger than your boyfriend?” Interesting…

The next morning, I was in pain. Luckily, a doctor was staying in one of the cabins and he checked my poor ankle. He diagnosed me with a sprained ankle and told me to stay off of it as much as possible. I pretty much hung out at the cabin for the rest of the day reading books and playing Mexi Train with people who stayed in from jet-skiing and wakeboarding. STS stopped by for a few minutes, watched a game of dominos, didn’t ask how my ankle was, even though it was up on a chair, and I was pretty livid that I hadn’t seen him for a while. We didn’t talk a whole lot, and then he left so that he could go to work. I called him a little later and told him I didn’t feel like things were going very well with our relationship, and he agreed, and we ended it (I know, I know, over the phone– tacky) mutually.

Lake Hunk and I eye-fucked lots more that week, but didn’t end up doing anything until I had an empty cabin and he came to hang out and watch TV for a bit. Watching TV turned into him asking me “you want to know how big it is, don’t you?” And of course, I agreed. I had been thinking about it ever since we had skinny-dipped, and I was pissed off that I couldn’t remember anything about it since I was so drunk, and he knew it. I unzipped his pants, and gave him a blow job that lasted approximately 2 minutes. If that. What a disappointment. And I know what you’re wondering, “Well? How big was he, Court?” He was a little smaller than MBD. Even bigger disappointment that it didn’t go further! We had to head back to the other cabin so no one started to wonder where we went!

Should I feel bad about “cheating” on STS if I felt like things were going to end anyway?

tfln of the day: (706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

exes and oh!s,


yes, there will be a pop-quiz to follow.

18 08 2009

I’m glad there are still some people following the blog! I thought for sure when we got back on here everyone would have completely forgotten about us.

Good to know I was wrong! Thank you for the warm welcome back! I’m going to try to get Christina back on here as well. I know we’ve both been busy.  She’s got The Purse currently, don’t worry, we’ve still been sending it back and forth and writing in our journal, but haven’t had enough time to actually log onto wordpress and catch you all up on our lives.

Oh, I got a new desk! Which is what I’ve needed all along… somewhere for my laptop to sit so that I don’t keep going in and out of a wireless connection. So now I have no excuses.

Anyway, to fill you all in (on what you really haven’t missed out on):
*Mid-May: I moved (5 hours away from STS).
*Late-May: I left to be in my sister’s wedding the day after moving day, therefore leaving the new house with unopened boxes for a week to have some much-needed family time (which included getting to see Christina!!!!!!!), and I also saw The Facemaker at the wedding, ugh.
*End of May: I got back, was able to unpack and situate myself and work for a couple of months. Decided to start Weight Watchers to lose a few pounds.
*Late July: Went on a 2-week vacation to the mountains. Beautiful. STS and I decided to “take a break” because of the long-distance situation we had going on. Sprained my ankle while stumbling down the stairs drunk, while on vacation (and hanging out with a very cute guy, also drunk). Gave the cute guy head (don’t judge.) Played beer pong. Skinny-dipped.
*Mid-August: Got a visit from the other sister, spent most of our time as tourists in Big City (close to where I live now).
*Early this week: Got another visit, but from an old High School friend who was in the area, a very nice surprise! Watched all 6 seasons of Sex and The City, and also the movie.

So there you have it. Nothing too exciting. Alright, so since I’ve been gone for so long, I’m sure I have well over 2,000 unread GoogleReader messages that I’m probably not going to be able to get to… Anyone willing on catching me up on their life since we’ve been gone in a paragraph?

exes and oh!s,

P.S. How does Tease Me Tuesday sound to you?

Dance party, anybody?

11 01 2009

I’ve been going through pictures of College Town tonight. I didn’t even go to college there and I still miss… beer pong, dance parties, walking up the fucking hills late-night strolls with friends (and stopping half-way at completely random people’s houses to use their facilities on the way to our destination to either A) pee at some random person’s house from the obscene amounts of beer we consumed before we departed or B) sled with the random people who let us use their bathrooms… no, wait, we definitely did both), the bars, the shots, the beer, the picture-taking, d.a.n.c.e. p.a.r.t.i.e.s., meeting new people, meeting old people, making out with… well, anyone (apparently), dance parties, annoying Christina’s extremely sheltered (never left her room) roommate by being incredibly loud when we came home shiiiiitfaced, sex on Christina’s living room floor, sex on Christina’s living room couch, dance parties, Christina & Short-haired Girl* plotting (and succeeding) at taking photos of me making out with cute boys… ahhhh.

…alright, so I think you realize that I miss the College Town dance parties.

Who can resist?! I mean… practically fornicating on the dance floor? Picture yourself grindin’ away on some dude (or chick, for you male readers), it’s hot, the music is loud, the bass is pounding, you’re as close as it gets, and the girls (or guys) sitting at the tables watching you have their jaw dropped so wide it’s practically touching the ground and her (his) tongue is rolling out of it and being stepped on by fellow dancers? Oh yes. That kind of dancing. Dirty dancing, if you will.

It was Halloween. Started out at Christina’s house, about… 15(?) people all costumed-up. Christina, being the naughty cowgirl she is, and myself, being, well, we weren’t really sure what I was– I had on sweats, a jersey-shirt, a pair of Christina’s tennis-shoes and black lines under my eyes– I was considering myself a powder-puff girl (we had quickly put my costume together short hours before, seeing as how I decided on a whim that I was going to College Town that weekend). Let’s just say that we supplied alcohol. People brought alcohol. We shared atrocious amounts of alcohol. We all left her place h-a-m-m-e-r-e-d. I think we walked to ‘Baile’, the most amazing underground bar with a dance floor.

Shots were-a-flowin’ in our system and before you knew it, our entire group was out there starting the dance party out. I happened to be dancing with Muscle Man (I’m sure you’ll hear more about this charmer later), and, like usual, everyone was hot-n-heavy. Well, I’m not sure about everyone, but we certainly were. Hands were wondering, I’m sure some words were exchanged (“where are you staying tonight?” “your place?” “no doubt” was pretty usual with us)– I ended up at Muscle Man’s apartment that night, after what seemed like hours of foreplay on the dancefloor. Let your imagination run wild.

That being said, I miss College Town dance parties. That’s all.

*name is subject to change

exes and oh!s,